Introduction: From Childhood Dreams to Adult Reality
Remember when you were a kid and someone asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
You didn’t hesitate. You’d shout things like: Astronaut! Teacher! Rockstar! Artist! Back then, your dreams weren’t weighed down by logic or limits — they came straight from your heart, fueled by pure curiosity and the wild belief that anything was possible.
No kid ever answered, “I just want to do… something.” Nope. We wanted to be something. We pictured ourselves living that life, not dabbling in it now and then.
But somewhere along the way, the narrative changed.
As adults, we start saying things like, “I want to try this,” or “Maybe I’ll do that someday.”
That tiny shift — from being to just doing — changes everything. It quietly reshapes how we see our purpose, how we set goals, and how we show up for our own growth.
In this article, we’ll explore:
- The real difference between doing and being
- Why commitment beats desire every time
- How to turn good intentions into lasting identity
- A simple, step-by-step roadmap to uncover — and live — your true purpose
Let’s dive in.
The Difference Between Wanting to Do and Wanting to Be
When you only want to do something, your commitment tends to be… well, optional.
Think about it:
“I want to ride motorcycles on weekends — but I don’t want to be a pro racer.”
“I like to paint sometimes — but I’m not an artist.”
“I write a little here and there — but I’m not a writer.”
There’s nothing wrong with hobbies. But if you’re chasing something deeper — like mastery, meaning, or purpose — that “sometimes” mindset won’t cut it.
Someone who wants to sing might belt out tunes in the shower. But someone who is a singer? They show up to practice even when they’re tired. They perform even when they’re nervous. They treat it like part of who they are — because it is.
Being means weaving it into your identity. And that tiny shift? It’s everything.
Why? Because:
- People who just “do” tend to fade out when things get hard. Motivation runs dry.
- People who choose to “be” dig in. Their identity becomes their anchor — even on the days they don’t feel like showing up.
Why Commitment Shapes Your Life Purpose
Whether it’s your career, passion, or personal mission — the moment you commit to being something, you start moving toward it. Not someday. Now.
People who only “want to do” something? They talk. A lot. For years.
“I’d love to start a business… someday.”
“I might write a book… one day.”
“I’ll travel when things calm down…”
But “someday” has a sneaky way of becoming “never.”
To find your true north — your main goal in life — you’ve got to flip the script. Stop asking, “What do I want to do?” Start asking, “Who do I want to become?”
That shift:
- Turns vague ambition into solid identity
- Fuels resilience when the road gets bumpy
- Gives you crystal-clear purpose — the kind that sticks, even in chaos
The Psychology of “Doing” vs. “Being”
Turns out, science backs this up.
“Doing” goals — like “I want to write a book” — often fizzle out. Why? Because they rely on fleeting motivation. (“I’ll write when I feel inspired!”)
“Being” goals — like “I am a writer” — create identity-driven habits. You write not because you’re inspired, but because… well, that’s just what writers do.
As James Clear says in Atomic Habits: When your identity shifts, your behavior follows.
Say “I am a runner,” and you’re way more likely to lace up your shoes — even at 6 a.m. on a rainy Tuesday.
Doing feels like a choice.
Being feels like who you are.
How to Turn Desire Into a Real Goal (Step-by-Step)
Okay, so how do you actually bridge that gap? Here’s your roadmap:
1. Get Honest About What You Really Want
Start with some soul-searching. Ask yourself:
- What makes me feel truly alive?
- If I could accomplish just one thing in the next 10 years, what would it be?
- What would I keep doing — even if no one clapped?
Then get specific. Instead of “I want to write,” try:
“I am becoming a published author — and I’ll finish my first book within two years.”
See the difference? One’s a wish. The other? A declaration.
2. Set a Deadline (Seriously)
Without a timeline, dreams float off into “someday land.” A deadline? That’s your anchor.
Examples:
“I’m launching my business by March.”
“My manuscript will be done by October.”
“I’m running my first marathon in 18 months — and I’m training for it now.”
3. Double Down on Commitment (Not Just Motivation)
Setting goals is easy. Sticking to them? That’s where the magic — and the grit — happens.
Determination means believing in yourself even when the path’s foggy.
Commitment means showing up — especially on the days you don’t feel like it.
4. Build Systems, Not Just Goals
Goals point the way. Systems get you there.
Goal: “I want to publish a book.”
System: “I write 500 words every morning at 7 a.m. — no excuses.”
Systems turn big dreams into daily habits. And habits? They’re what reshape your identity.
5. Design Your Environment for Success
Willpower is overrated. Your environment? That’s the real MVP.
Want to be fit? Hang with people who move their bodies.
Want to be a writer? Join a writing group — or start one.
Want to be an entrepreneur? Surround yourself with builders, not bystanders.
You become who you spend time with. Choose wisely.
6. Track Progress — and Celebrate the Tiny Wins
Small victories keep you going. So celebrate them:
- Finished your first chapter? Heck yes.
- Ran your first 5K? That’s huge.
- Landed your first paying client? Dance it out.
Each win builds momentum. And momentum? That’s what turns “trying” into “being.”
My Personal Journey: From Doing to Being
For years, I had a laundry list of things I “wanted to try.” Writing? Wasn’t even on it. I thought it was too hard. Too intimidating.
I was scared of rejection. I told myself, “I want to write… but I’m not ready to be a writer.” So I did nothing.
Then I heard someone say:
“Why set a goal if you’re not going to follow through? Nothing’s beyond human ability — unless you decide it is before you even start.”
That hit me like a lightning bolt.
I took a deep breath, gathered my courage, and wrote my first real piece. I sucked at first. But I kept going. Slowly, writing stopped being something I “did” — and started being something I was.
Lessons I Learned About Motivation and Discipline
Here’s what that journey taught me:
- Discipline outlasts motivation. Motivation fades. Discipline? That’s your backbone.
- Desire without action is just daydreaming. Wishing won’t build anything. Showing up will.
- Your purpose gets clearer the more you commit. Not when you “do” — when you become.
This isn’t just for writers or entrepreneurs. It’s for anyone who wants to lead, teach, create, heal, build — or simply live with intention.
Commitment is the bridge between wanting and becoming.
Finding Your Own Main Goal in Life
Still unsure what your “main thing” is? Ask yourself:
- What do I love so much, I’d do it for free?
- How do I want to be remembered?
- What am I willing to show up for — even on the hard days?
Your answers? That’s your compass.
Practical Tips for Shifting From Doing to Being
- Start saying “I am…” instead of “I want to…”
→ “I am a writer.” Not “I want to write.”
- Build tiny daily habits. Even 15 minutes counts.
- Invest in your craft — tools, classes, books, mentors.
- Stop waiting for applause. Being isn’t about approval — it’s about alignment.
- Aim for consistency, not perfection. Miss a day? No big deal. You’re still who you say you are.
Common Roadblocks (and How to Smash Through Them)
Fear of failure? → Reframe it. Every “mistake” is feedback. Every stumble? A step closer.
“I don’t have time.” → You don’t find time. You make it — for what matters most.
Imposter syndrome? → Identity isn’t born — it’s built. The more you show up, the more real it feels.
Final Thoughts: Choose to Be, Not Just Do
If you want something that lasts — something that fulfills you, challenges you, and grows with you — don’t just do it.
Become it.
Desire is a spark. Commitment? That’s the fire.
When you choose to be something, you change your mindset. You build discipline. You connect to a deeper sense of purpose — the kind “doing” can never give you.
Your main goal in life shouldn’t be a checkbox. It should be part of your bones. Your breath. Your rhythm.
And once you embrace that?
Success isn’t some far-off finish line anymore.
It becomes the way you live.
Call to Action
Take five minutes right now.
Write down not what you want to do…
…but who you want to be.
Then — today — take one small step that aligns with that identity.
Write 100 words. Go for a run. Send that email. Make that call.
Start today.
Start becoming.
FAQs: Stop Doing and Start Being
Q: Why is “being” more powerful than “doing”?
A: Because “being” becomes part of you. “Doing” feels optional. Identity? That’s what keeps you going.
Q: How long does it take to shift from doing to being?
A: Everyone’s different — but stick with it for 60–90 days, and you’ll start feeling the shift.
Q: Can I be multiple things? (Writer, parent, entrepreneur…)
A: Absolutely. But start by anchoring your primary identity first — so you don’t spread yourself too thin.
Q: What if I fail after choosing to “be”?
A: Then you’re exactly where you need to be. Failure isn’t the end — it’s part of the path. Persistence defines you more than perfection ever could.
Q: Is this just about careers?
A: Nope. You can choose to be a kind person. A healthy person. A lifelong learner. A present parent. Identity isn’t limited to your job title.
